and it all boils down to the next month

decisions of what is going on next year, class choice, finals, pretty much the culmination of my academic career b/c next semester has very little bearing upon anything. not to mention the additional pressure from my parents and family to decide and let them know my plans. so once again, the drinking from years past came back to haunt me and this thanksgiving break was one to be forgotten. tues night thru sat night more alcohol entered my system than probably from the entire semester thus far. i lost a huge chunk of my appetite and have barely eaten, not to mention this weather changing every three days is killing my immune system. i know i need to focus on the school work and get it done, but my motivation is lacking and i have no drive. i want to break away from the APO people, break away from that crazy drinking party crowd, but the more i do that, the more i realize there are very few people left in ann arbor that i have to hang out with. in fact, most of them are from walled lake and drive up to visit, or i drive over to visit. turns out i was way right about the boy and should never have talked to him in the first place, oh well. hindsight's 20/20. i met a few fun ones this weekend, but one went away for the next four years and i'm not sure if the others would even be that fun w/o the alcohol part. so this is my goodbye, to the fuct up blackout nonsense life. it's time.